DW News

[robert_jones]

I can't get over how dreadful the groom's outfit is in this entry. I'm posting about it here in order to get it off my chest, as otherwise I'd have to comment on the entry, and it would be inappropriate to be negative on such an occasion. But, really, what?!? Despite the fact that it's clearly daylight in that photo, he's wearing a parody of evening dress. He's paired a white bow-tie with what appears to be a dinner jacket. The jacket doesn't fit him, and the tie has gone horriby wrong. Part of the problem is that having added to the eccentricity of his look by wearing a wing-tip collar, he's tucked the tips behind the tie, which rather defeats the point of having them. Even so, I doubt that a real tie could be persuaded to stick out at that angle, so I suspect that it's a pre-tied tie which for some reason he's wearing two sizes too large.

Comments

[khalinche]

Also, what's up with his posture? The way he's leaning back slightly and has his hands clutched together in front of him makes him look either as though he is thinking faraway thoughts and is made uncomfortable by the situation he's in (which we can hope for his bride's sake isn't true) or that he really, really needs to pee.

[khalinche]

Also again, have you met Go Fug Yourself?

[sashajwolf]

I think it's now considered allowable to wear evening dress at a daytime wedding that is to be followed by an evening reception (mirroring the older compromise which allowed morning dress at evening receptions in such circumstances.) I do agree that this chap's interpretation of evening dress is idiosyncratic, but if such dress is not common in one's circle it can be difficult to know what is appropriate. Admittedly it might be better in such cases just to forego formality, but the long white dress meme is so ingrained for brides that it could be difficult to make that choice. If formal dress is common in their circle, the best man or similar should have had a quiet word, because the groom is clearly trying to do justice to the occasion as best he knows how, and I don't like blaming people for getting something wrong if it has never been explained to them correctly.

[robert_jones]

I don't agree about the acceptability of evening dress at day-time weddings. If a day-time wedding is to be followed by an evening reception, there will be time for people to change in between. Or, as you note, it would be acceptable for them to wear morning dress to both. To arrive at the wedding dressed for the reception suggests mistaken priorities.

On the other hand, I do (reluctantly) acknowledge that the wedding was taking place in Las Vegas, where evening dress is common at day-time weddings, and some allowance should be made for local custom.

I do agree with you that (a) it would have been better for the groom to forego formality, but (b) that wasn't an option given the bride's dress.

I also agree that he's probably trying to do justice to the occasion as best he can. However, I don't agree that he can be excused on that basis. He is only going to get married once (I assume), and there are numerous books and web-sites which describe the various styles of evening dress. If he didn't know what to wear, he should have found out.

[sashajwolf]

I think you may underestimate the barriers which people who haven't been immersed in the privileged culture of formal etiquette feel they encounter when they start trying to learn that etiquette. It can be difficult even to know who to ask, what kind of books to look in and what search strings to use, partly because there's an element of not knowing (or being able to articulate) what it is you don't know and partly because of a sort of anxiety or mental block. I remember encountering this a fair bit when booking external speakers for some of the Cambridge societies I was involved with. One conversation with Rabbi Sheila Shulman still stands out, in which she tried to explain to me how nerve-wracking she found it to be invited to Formal Hall.

[sunflowerinrain]

It's a pity, when the visual records will be so important.

I wonder if the priest here wears DJ and bow tie for weddings, as he does for funerals?

The easiest thing to do is hire a complete set of gear for the male section of the wedding party, as my cousin did - getting married in an 18th-century mansion, he decided to have matching historical costume and was resplendent in gold brocade. Cost much more than is sensible, though.